It is Monday and I am getting deep! This was such a tough post for me because I have to share a bit about myself and that is not easy for me but here goes.
When I think about boundaries I think about many interpersonal things that we consider inappropriate. Like someone walking into the loo while you are… “sparkling” or even “twinkling”. It is so much more than that because you determine what your boundaries are.
The problem comes when we become the “yes man”. We say yes to things that we know we don’t want to do or are not comfortable with just so that people will not think we are “selfish” or “bad people”. Personal boundaries will help you establish when it is okay to say no. a word that we are so uncomfortable with saying.
I for one was quiet co-dependent. I was borderline addicted to other people’s problems and I become personally involved to try and help them. I for the life of me could not say no and Being compassionate made it so much worse for me and that is when I realized that I have a problem because compassion is a gift and I should be proud of that trait which lead to me trying to find healthy ways to deal with my co-dependency so that I can enjoy my life.
I paid a visit to “Dr Google” and that’s when I learned about personal boundaries and since then I see an improvement every day and I am here to share
Get to know YOU
Sit with yourself and get to know yourself. I mean really get to know yourself. What you like, what you don’t like. What makes you tick, what makes you puke. Write this down if it helps and be conscious about it. We often think about these things but we don’t take them seriously.
Be honest with yourself
It all starts with you. Always try and be honest with yourself that will in turn help you to be honest with others because honestly plays a huge role in setting your personal boundaries
Stand your ground
It often happens that we follow trends to be “cool”. There are times where a certain top for example is in fashion but you think it is the ugliest piece of cloth that you have seen but because it trending on Instagram you suddenly think it is cute? Learn to stand your ground this will help you stick to your boundaries.
If you don’t want to do something, say No. it is as simple as that what people think about you after that is their problem not yours.
Express your boundaries.
Should anyone attempt to cross them, tell them straight out that no they have gone too far and this will help eliminate repeats.
I know this might feel like you are being selfish or un kind but in life there is only so much that you can do for others. Do not overexert yourself to a point that you forget about yourself.
God said love your neighbour as you love yourself.
In order to love others, you need to love you first and personal boundaries is a step in the right direction.
And that is my two cents worth.
Lots of love